The feedback drink of Eva

A while ago I wrote about feedback and the magic that happens when you start discover a way of giving some that is in line with your personality and communication style. (More here) Amazingly, my friend Eva came back to me after reflecting and creating her own feedback cocktail. Thanks so much, Eva for sharing your perspective with me and the outer world. I couldn't be happier about you turning my thoughts into your own!

"I guess my feedback drink would be an Aperol Spritz. Not only because it is one of the best drinks I know - surely due to my Italian-love - but because I think my feedback is not that straight forward and bitter-sweet than Kristinas :) (but nevertheless I would love to receive feedback from you ;) ) So how do the ingredients of an Aperol tastes like and makes it special?

Aperol —> orange sweetness that gives you a warming heart and atmosphere
Prosecco —> makes you light and helps you not to take yourself too serious
Spritz —> activate people to get , well, active

Although I do regular retros and love to do quick feedback rounds, I am always having a hard time giving feedback, because I don’t want to criticise and hurt people. In my world, everyone is special as they are and their character moves belong to them as their nose. 
So how to challenge myself on giving valuable feedback without giving them the feeling that they are wrong? I try to see it like this: If there is something people can grow on or sth that wasn’t super optimal in a situation, it wasn’t by purpose (if it was it is totally different topic and needs to be handled differently). But people don’t know how their behavior is seen by others. So I tell them with a good portion of humour how I experienced the situation, give the environment a warm and welcoming surrounding. The Aperol I would say. Then I ask this person why this reaction or behavior was there. The person can put it into context and maybe discovers in the conversation on their own what was not right or good. This is the Prosecco - getting active in reflecting yourself. You are just the catalysator in the conversation. 
And if I see this happening, we can openly talk about that it is no mistake or negative character but not helpful in that special moment. So stay as you are, be fresh and spritzi, but learn when to take back a bit of that and when you can dose more spritz into your work or life.

This is fantastic Eva